and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
