thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
