Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
