I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
