I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize