I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
