You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
