im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Randomize
