Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
