D3 body, D1 cock
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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