Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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