No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
