Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize