this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
