If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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