Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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