i just wanna soil my oats bro
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
