He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
the raccoons are back...
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