I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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