i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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