I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
