You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
