Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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