haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
