ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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