$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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