The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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