Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
