i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize