If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
