just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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