Its about making memories worth repressing
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
