I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
