To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
"it" just moved
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
