you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
