Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
