She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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