i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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