There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
