Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i dont even know how to be here
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
