If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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