we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
