i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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