I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize