i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
