i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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