Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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