I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
