i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
