I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
