if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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