My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize