we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Are we still banned from the library?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize