I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You ate ashes out of my bong
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
