all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
