Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
