i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
