a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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