why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
True college students do jello shots in the library
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
