He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize