did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
