Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
