It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
