There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
