i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize