So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have aggressive nipples.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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