I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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