I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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