i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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