so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
