i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
