just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
