Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
